underground writing

. . . attending words, revising lives

Trying to catch up to you . . .

Janice, age 28 - Skagit Valley Recovery Community


Trying to catch up to you


I sit here on my bed looking out my window.
I see fields that stretch as far as the eye can see.
A blue sky the sun is shining white fluffy clouds dot the sky.
I remember the time we were wondering around out in the county roads.
You were standing there waiting patiently for me
with that goofy smile.  Your golden brown hair shining in the sun.
I'm trying to catch up to you.
As I get closer you wrap your arms around me I hug your waist.
Put my head on your chest. This is my safest place in whole world.
I feel the warmth of your body I close my eyes to hear your heart beat.
I think about our future we will build together,
watching our beautiful daughters, grow into beautiful women
Me and you growing old together.
Then as you pull your arms back and cup my face with your big hands,
I'm brought back from my thoughts.
Then you smile at me with that smile again.
Say, "I Love You Baby".
But then my heart starts to hurt as the reality hits me again.
Then there I am again staring out the window.
Trying to catch up to you.

 

 

Written in response to a prompt asking students to write about (or reflect on) a time they felt joyful abandonment.  As an opening into this, we read Martha Serpas' poem, "Lying in the Middle of the Field."

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